Don't Make Us Laugh
by Agent Bubble
Summary: A story for each member of the all-powerful Team Platinum and how they would appreciate it you stop making them laugh. Seriously, their lives are exhausting enough without having to waste energy on pointless things like laughing. (Crazyverse)


**Rosy**

The Team Rocket grunt cackled evilly. "Wow, Carl. These Sinnoh people are _so gullible_."

His partner, Carl nodded. "We're earning about 17% more with this Sinnoh Scam Scheme than the grunts that stayed in Kanto to try and steal pokemon."

A bell rang from the front of the store.

Carl whispered, "Quiet, Jonah. Customer."

Soon a roserade approached the counter and placed a hyper potion on the check-out counter. Then she put a whiteboard next to it.

Jonah picked it up and read it aloud. " _Misters, I got a few concerns about the ingredients in your products._ "

Carl muttered, "I was not aware that pokemon could write…"

Jonah shook his head and said to the roserade, "Look, Roserade, we just sell these things, so if you wanna talk about ingredients or whatever, you're gonna have to call the manufacturing plant."

She took the whiteboard and wrote a new message.

" _But none 'a your stuffs have the League Approved Label, so they weren't made by any companies that I would know of. So, I came to the conclusion that you're runnin' some kind 'a scammin' scheme."_

Jonah narrowed his eyes at the pokemon on the other side of the counter. "Are you accusing us of being criminals?"

" _Yup_ "

"Look, Roserade, we don't want to make a scene, but when you throw around accusations like that…"

" _If ya didn't want trouble ya shouldn't 'a come here to Sinnoh to try to cheat your way into the higher Team Rocket Ranks._ "

Carl glared and hissed, "Well then," and sent out an ivysaur.

Jonah followed suit and sent out a golbat.

She held up another message. " _You're gonna attack me? Don't make me laugh. And I'd appreciate it if ya'd call me by my actual name. Rosy."_

Carl looked nervous and said "Rosy? As in Rosy of the champion's team."

" _Yup._ "

"Oh snap."

Exactly four minutes and twelve seconds later, a roserade dragged two Team Rocket grunts into the police station.

* * *

 **Kitty**

A line of five meowths leapt from trash can to window ledge as they traveled down an alleyway toward the air vent that led to their hideout, chatting about the trouble they had caused in a nearby park.

"Didja see that guy's face when I snatched his lunch right outta his hand?"

"Whatta 'bout when we tripped that kid into the lake?"

"Or when we pushed dat hot dog cart down a hill den stole all da food when it tipped over?"

"Hold it, guys," said the leader (whose name was Snivy but prefers to be called The Roaring Terror).

Laying in front of the vent was an umbreon. He raised his head tiredly and yawned. "So, you must be part of the Meowth Gang. Creative name, I have to say. However did you come up with that?"

The Roaring Terror shrugged her shoulders good naturedly. "Dunno. Dun' really care. I din' name it. Wha's a poke like you doin' inna place like dis, anyway?"

"Well, I heard that one of your… uhh... _cronies_ took something belonging to a friend of mine."

"What was it?"

"It was an Amulet Coin." When none of the meowths moved, the umbreon continued. "One of you yanked it right off of my friend froslass' neck. Gave her quite a rope burn. Needless to say, none of us were pleased, but we figured that we didn't need all of us to take care of a few meowth."

When there was still no response other than an uncomfortable shifting, the umbreon narrowed its eyes in the cruel way only dark types can.

Finally The Roaring Terror turned to the other four and singled out one. "Get in dere and find dat Amulet Coin."

The meowth scurried into the vent and The Roaring Terror turned back to the umbreon. "Ya know we don't usually return da stuff we get, but for you I made an exception. Buy you're gonna have ta give _us_ somethin' in return."

He raised an eyebrow. "You want me to pay you back for something that was mine in the first place? Hah! Don't make me laugh. But, because I'm such a nice person, how 'bout I just _don't_ give you anything."

When the meowths looked at each other in confusion, he groaned and elaborated, "A good kick in the tail, dimwits. You certainly deserve it for stealing from my little sister."

At that moment, the one meowth returned and held out the Amulet Coin to The Roaring Terror, who scowled and jerked her head in the umbreon's direction. He took the Coin and left the alleyway with a nod of farewell.

After he left, one meowth turned to The Roaring Terror. "Why'd ya let 'im go, Boss?"

"Because dat was Kitty."

She stared in disbelief at their uncomprehending faces. " _Kitty_. I'm talkin' 'bout da one from da champion's team."

Another silent moment of confusion.

"Ugh. Dis is why I'm da boss here."

* * *

 **Sweetie**

"Bye, Sweetie! Be a good boy and be nice to the other pokemon!" The girl waved to her togekiss before exiting the daycare.

A prinplup snickered. "Dude, your trainer calls you _Sweetie_? What a wuss!"

"Bet the only thing you're good at are those stupid contests," A machoke added.

Sweetie snorted, then burst into laughter. "Please." He shook his head then took a deep breath and composed himself.

Prinplup cleared his throat and glared at the togekiss. "Just _what_ do you find so funny, wimp."

Sweetie snickered. "Come on. Tell me, what level are you two?"

Prinplup puffed up pridefully. " _I_ am level 27."

Machoke sneered. "And _I'm_ 32."

Sweetie burst into laughter again.

The other two narrowed their eyes.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, fairy loser." Machoke cracked his knuckles.

Sweetie raised an eyebrow. "Level 27 and 32, and you're trying to pick a fight with _me_? Don't make me laugh."

The two others got into battle positions.

"I'm level 90, losers."

Prinplup and Machoke froze.

"A word of advice, idiots. Don't pick fights with the champion's pokemon."

* * *

 **Kristi**

Kristi was not having a great day.

In fact, she would say that she was having a rather terrible day.

Dawn had take Team Platinum out to challenge the Elite Four and champion again, (and how did Cynthia keep becoming the champion? She'd never once beaten Team Platinum!) and Kristi had used her destiny bond far more than she would have liked.

So, as a result of multiple faintings and revivings, Kristi of Team Platinum had a headache.

A pounding migraine.

And, to make it worse, Team Black was visiting.

Normally Kristi would be glad to see Team Black. She and Chi-Chi the cinccino would talk about the girl stuff that Rosy never liked to, she and Pie the tympole would practice contest moves with hydro pump and blizzard, and Star the lampent was the quiet and emotionless one that was actually easiest for the timid froslass to talk to.

But today Puff Bat, Lei-Lei, and Daze had come too. The three youngest and most annoying. The swoobat, tynamo, and zorua had teamed up with Spaz.

And all four of them were trying to talk to Kristi.

"Hey! Hey! Kristi! Lookit! I can fly upside down and backwards at the same time!"

"Betcha can't dodge my thunderwave too, Puffy!"

"I can look like that Llama Goat we saw that one time!"

"I'M A TANGERINE NARWHAL!"

Kristi was preparing to ice punch all four of them when Star finally came to her rescue.

"I think you four are giving her a headache."

The four pokemon stopped, and Puff Bat leaned in to insect Kristi's face. The swoobat then gestured to the others to gather in what Kristi referred to as the Plotting Circle of Terror.

About thirty seconds later, she found out what they were plotting.

Apparently they had taken it upon themselves to make her feel better, in the only way that they could. As Puff Bat loved to say, "Laughter is the best medicine."

And so, Kristi found herself plagued with lame jokes, glitter, and an alarming amount of glitter.

When Spaz and Puff Bat prepared for a tickle attack, Kristi finally interrupted.

"Guys! I have a migraine. Don't make me laugh. That'll just make it worse."

* * *

 **Spy**

If you were to ask any member of Team Platinum which one of them was the most annoying, they would say Spaz. The next in line for craziest would be Spy. Then Dawn. After a large gap, there would be Rosy, Sweetie, Kristi, and Kitty.

So the four 'normalest' ones were surprised to see Spy actually sitting completely still for once.

When Sweetie pointed out that he was locked in an intense staring contest with Dawn, Kitty hopefully asked if she was maybe doing some weird hypnotism to make him less annoying.

He was disappointed when Rosy said that it was more likely that they were just having a staring contest.

They took a seat on the couch to see how long the second spazziest pokemon on their team would be able to last.

When Spaz popped out from a socket, Kitty concluded that their data was inaccurate and threw it away. (Spaz does that to logic.)

When Spaz loudly announced that he was bored and started bugging Spy, the other three agreed.

"Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! I'm BOOOOORRRRRED!"

"Go away, Spaz. I'm busy."

Spaz didn't listen.

"Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy! Spy!"

After exactly 46 minutes and 12 seconds, Spaz resorted to drastic measures.

He stuck his round, orange face right in front of Spy's. He narrowed his blue eyes. He stuck out his small, pink tongue…

And licked Spy on the nose.

Spy's mouth twitched. "Spaz. Don't make me laugh."

"But why not?"

"We're in the middle of a 'Stare-At-The-Other-Person-Until-They-Laugh' Contest."

Spaz understood the seriousness of his teammate's situation.

* * *

 **Spaz**

Spaz was, sadly, the weakest pokemon on Team Platinum. He didn't mind (much), but it was annoying when Spy would get hyper-competitive. It didn't help that Spaz's phobia of battling while possessing an appliance was second only to Spy's crippling fear of lopunnies.

So, he was stuck being small, weak (by Team Platinum standards), and deathly afraid of _doing the exact thing that his species was known for_.

Luckily for _him_ , he was also very good at anything that had to do technology. He was a rotom. Duh. And while he hated fighting while trapped in an appliance, he was perfectly fine possessing them outside of battle.

He was also an excellent multitasker.

So, here he was, inside the computer at their secret base, being as useful as a rotom can be while the others wasted time.

"Hah! This movie is awesome, Spaz. Have you seen it?" Spy was currently watching a movie on the other side of the room.

And yes, Spaz was watching the movie. Or at least, part of his consciousness was. That bit of Spaz had also watched ahead and knew the ending. It was currently contemplating the ups and downs of spoiling it for Spy.

Suddenly Little-Bit-of-Spaz's-Consciousness #3 (who we shall call Spaz 3, to keep it simple) screeched, "Emergency! Emergency! Someone's trying to hack our database!"

Spaz 2, who was trying to debug a bacon baking robot, instinctively began to move to help Spaz 3. The original Spaz, Spaz 1, ordered #2 to stay put.

' _This it it,'_ He thought, ' _My chance to prove that I can do four different things at once.'_

Spaz 1 was playing Plants vs Zombies Garden Warfare.

Spaz 2 was debugging the bacon bot.

Spaz 3 was fighting the hacker.

Spaz 4 was watching a movie.

Spaz 1 was being a foot soldier, and was struggling to get to a good spot to guard the gravestone.

Spaz 4 decided against ruining it for Spy.

The bacon bot somehow was making penguin shaped bacon.

Spaz 1 was having a taunt battle with Daze, who was also playing and was being a peashooter.

Spaz 3 was being overdramatic.

Spaz 2 was having trouble, seeing as the bot somehow had a cannon and was firing bacon cannonballs at Kristi.

"NO, DAZE, NO! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!" Spaz 1 screamed desperately.

But it was too late.

Daze used stompin' peas.

All the Spazes burst into laughter.

Spaz 1's foot soldier got eaten by a chomper.

Spaz 2's bacon bot launched itself into orbit.

Spaz 3 accidentally erased everything in the database.

Spaz 4 ate some digital popcorn.

Then all the Spazes merged back together and popped out next to Spy.

"NO! NO! NO! WHYYYYYY!?"

* * *

 **Dawn**

Dawn was normally a happy person. She _liked_ being happy, like most people. When she wasn't smiling, her team usually took it upon themselves to cheer her up.

So, when one morning she walked out of her room with a deadly serious look on her face, Team Platinum automatically turned to Spaz and Spy.

The two weirdos spent the morning preparing glitter water balloons, paintball guns, and a giant rubix cube for the awesome cheer-up prank they had planned for this situation.

They were almost ready to set it off when Dawn approached them.

"Just thought I should tell you," she said in a monotone, "Don't make me laugh. I actually am in a good mood. I'm just practicing my game face. We're gonna fight the Elite Four and take our champion throne back from Cynthia today and I wanna show them how serious of a trainer I am."

"Wait, _again_?"

"Quick, guys! Call off the prank! I repeat, CALL OFF THE PRANK!"


End file.
